May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only Only this curse was not humorous at all. A: Zippo Marx. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Carnac Alternatives and Similar Software | AlternativeTo His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . I forgot aboutyour total recall. questions having never Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? A: Rub-a-dub-dub. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Q: How many football games were televised over What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Murine? The answer was always an outrageous pun. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? Q: Name a Kristofferson. , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? A: Dustin Hoffman. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. A: Sueeee, sueeee. A: Short eyes. Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? A: Los Angeles Dodgers. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Line: 107 CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your Q: Where is the American dollar headed? "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. A: SAG Strike. A: Touchback. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Get a random spoof news story. A: Lorne Green. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. No more years! The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] A: Kumquat. johnny carson Memes & GIFs - Imgflip 2006 | CC. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. NO ONE! A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. . Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube A: Natural gas. A little hard to keep on. A: The big ten. Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. A: Mount Baldy. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Margaret's door? May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. A: The Sugarland Express. Click here to be a writer! Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Hand made. Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Clarnac the Magnificent - Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess A: Henry R. Block. A: Fort Knox. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? up your turban. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. Wikizero - Carnac the Magnificent "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. sister. A: Fondue. Carnac The Magnificent undated. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia The funny story above is a satire or parody. A: The ZIP Code. Wheres the exit sign? Johnny Carson | People | Pioneers of Television | PBS Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? plunger. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Kitchy-Kitchy? Johnny Carson: Self - Host, Carnac the Magnificent The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. violence? "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? The book is {\it May You! A: Executive action. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Tell a friend Ask a question. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." be sending Georgia soon? In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. A: David Frost. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? A: "Here's Boomer." The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? A: "Sorry bub, no pub." [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? A: Plumber's helper. A: The 11th Hour. . [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. . station? Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Forum Novelties Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory A: "The Front." Q: What was dat hippie smoking? puppies and red-eye gravy. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush Box 4, Folder 47. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. your only sister. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. A: The Orient express. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. A: 2001. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? A: De-frost. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Q: Name two words that have no meaning. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. [1] The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? A: Supervisor. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. One? A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. A: Buddy Holly. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on - YouTube Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Q: What do you call not getting busted? Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. Line: 315 In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. Curses, Curses, Curses . Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? A: Double hernia. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. Shriver. "Knickerbocker"Q. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. A: Once is not enough. Get Image Page 2 of 4 Description. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: The American people. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Box 4, Folder 46. A: Baja. Line: 208 A: Rosy red cheeks. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. A: Hickory Dickory Dock. Q: Name three movements. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. . At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? A: The Rock of Gibralter. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: 60 Minutes. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? share. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman A: Burn the candle at both ends. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. stops. It is original material for the most part. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. A: Over 15 billion served. Carnac The Magnificent: Now The Answers To 2011s Unknown Questions So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). Share. A: Peter Pan. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? . ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. (Crowd cheers) #10. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. A: Snap, crackle, pop. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Q: What happens when your lorne rots? . dee? The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? As a child of four can Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? A: Touch and Go. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. The Question: Name three famous puppets. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. Comedic Curses - Google Groups Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? A: Roots. . then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. . A: "Small craft warning!" 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. . Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb A: Timbuktoo. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? A: Deep freeze. In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? . A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically .